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The pay wasn't much, but they did pay in gold, soz that made up fer some of the short comings. There was a federal courthouse not far away, soz I dropped in fer a talk.Well, the long and the short of it was that I took the job. Judge Abner Jones took a shine to me, soz he sent me to serve some papers on a local rancher. The rancher was a witness to a shooting of another federal marshal, soz the judge wanted him to show up in court to testify. This was supposed to be a nothin' sort of job, one that a body could do in his sleep. Well, I don't do nothin' in my sleep but sleep, soz I was ready for trouble ifen it showed up.When I got to the ranch, I was invited in fer dinner, since it was just gittin' on to noon. Them was real nice folks, and I enjoyed a mighty good meal of roast beef and all of the fixin's. We was just having desert, a peach cobbler, when a rock came flyin' through the window. Now, good glass is expensive, soz I could sympathize with my host fer bein' right pissed. He erupted. “Son of a bitch, that's not so fucking funny anymore. How in hell do you get in here, anyway. I try to keep this place locked like a bank vault,” he complained. I told him, “One of those nights I had to carry your sorry, drunken ass home, and you couldn't find your keys, so you told me where your spare key was, so I had a half dozen duplicates made and handed them out around town, that's how.” What! You dirty bastard, are you trying to get me killed? There are people would pay good money for one of them. Who'd you give them to?” I relented, “Oh, quiet down. I'm just ribbing you to make sure you're awake. I've got the only key in case you're shot up and no one can get in to make sure you're buried proper.” Jack sarcastically replied, “Well, thats very endearing of you to care for the corpse of your old, and probably only, friend. How come you never showed such intimate emotions when I was still alive, but go around cocking a gun in my ear every morning? “Now, don't.
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